Even More Bad Puns

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to reading blogs along comes yet another post filled with truly awful jokes, puns and one-liners.  If it helps, think of this as a “health and wellness” page since laughing is so important to feeling great!  Enjoy

Punny One Liners:

  • When an agnostic dies, does he go to the “great perhaps”?
  • Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
  • Do you think Houdini ever locked his keys in his car?
  • Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
  • If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2
  • If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?

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Take A Pun, Leave A Pun

 Announcing the Take A Pun,  Leave A Pun program

The process is simple – add your favorite pun as a comment below with a link to your web page. If the pun is good, er, I mean bad (the worse the better, I’m talking about bad puns that not only make you roll your eyes but can cause physical pain – truly bad puns) I will insert it into the article including your link to your web site. That’s it! Enjoy the bad puns on this page and make sure to leave one for others to enjoy!

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Look at things as they can be

Your range of available choices right now has no limits.

The only limits you have are in your mind.

You’ve got it in you to succeed.

Just make up your mind and stick with it.

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Be prepared when opportunity comes

Luck is the time when preparation and opportunity meet.

When you’re prepared, your chance for success will come.

You can change chance into good fortune if you’re ready.

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Your habits will push you to success

First you make your habits, and then your habits make you.

Break those habits that can break you.

Adopt those practices that will become the new habits that will help you achieve the success you desire.

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You must make your own opportunities

Your destiny isn’t a matter of chance, it’s a matter of the choices you make.

Success isn’t something you wait for, it’s something you must pursue.

Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities to be successful. Seize common occasions and turn them into great ones.

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Nothing is impossible with a willing heart

You can do anything in this world you want to do,

but you must want to do it badly enough.

You really can have everything you want, if you go after it.

You have to want it.

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The Glass Is Always Half Full

There is a good side to every situation.

View your problems as opportunities.

You cannot have the success without the failures.

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True success depends on your enjoyment

You’ll never achieve real success unless you like what you’re doing.

What you do is more important than how much money you make.

How you feel about what you do is more important than what you do.

The more you love what you’re doing, the more successful it will be for you.

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Before You Can Change The World You MUST Change Yourself

This is an inscription on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop in Westminster Abbey:

When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world.

As I grew older and wiser I discovered the world would not change –

So I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country,

but it too seemed immovable.

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